As I experience my awakening, I have discovered something extraordinary that I never earlier saw. Since I experienced childhood abuse, I always felt vulnerable, fearful, and defenseless. I found different ways to defend myself from others who I perceived would hurt me. I created a powerful male identity within through ego who is tough, strong, and could protect me. The other way was to attach myself to a man who would protect me from others. Both methods are unhealthy, since one is based in ego, and the other is a codependency relationship also based in ego.
I realized this about myself recently when I struggled with separating from a former relationship. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t let go. I was able to soften my male identity through emotional release practice, and observing ego practice, but I just couldn’t find a way to let go of this past…
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